Tekstit

Butterflies

Kuva
 It might be that i had plane oatmeal with peanuts, a coffee and a sweet piece of cake for breakfast why i feel like i have butterflies in my stomich, but also its about time i get shaky and nervous.  Its been one tough journey, a lot of moments where i've overcome expectations of myself and really showed myself that i can push through those hardships. This whole space in time has kind of felt like a dream if i think about it, but it makes sense if you think about the "right now"s where i've just had to put my head down and go through something, ignoring everything around me and woken up on the other side . When i was talking to my parents yesterday my dad kind of winked towards the question of " will i ever come back here " and in hindsight ...you know, who knows? But my initial reaction -while i was laying in bed very tired feeling like i just fought a bear- was "this piece of rock can definetely stay here, solve its own problems in its own world and...
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The Warmth

Kuva
 "it ain't the heat it's the dust" People back home are so enamoured with the heat . They always drop the "oh how hot is it over there, 20 degrees? oh my god, must ne so nice" and whatever. But his place has been opening its self up to me in a completely different way during this weird space in time right now where we're so close to leaving and feelings start to come and you just try to grab everything you can and just grasp it for one more moment, you're just so excited about getting home and also you're finding true warmth in this place and almost feel like you don't want to leave.  But it truly is the beautiful bittersweetness of it that makes it so sweet isn't it? It's a weird experience especially when you're this age and you are trying to run around and always get to everything at once. But really when you stop running for a second, get to some shade and realize that "this is kinda nice, kind of a perfect moment huh...
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The Shell

Kuva
Most of us have all once inhabited this "Shell" like mindset where we just go about our day thinking we are the main character in some movie - up in our ego hidden behind it all - not realizing that a lot of beautiful relationships with people formerly strangers to us - and conversations that could be had - are just swimming by us up the river while we effortlessly float down this crooked image. And it is during this time abroad (not exclusive to Malta, i don't think) that i've really been able to not only get even a glimpse of light thru the cracks of this poisonous wall of insecurity i'm trying to paint a picture of, but also really started to break out of it and really "see the world" in a WHOLE different way i didn't really know existed.  It is these moments and observations that i believe are the actual souvenirs  I was always ment to bring back and what my friends and family where signaling to be in need of when they just couldn't explain...
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The Locals

Kuva
 Something about the local people how they are kind and friendly in a different way than in Finland or they are just more friendly overall. One day my neighbour stopped to ask me if i was fine and actually my T-shirt had fallen from my balcony to someones yard and i needed to find who they were so this nice lady first knocked on one door and asked and then went to another one and in between asked about me. Finally the person whos yard it had fell on came to the backyard and just climbed to the shirt and gave it to me. Also here in the apartment, one resident has a baby who had her birthday a couple days ago and when i came home that day they welcomed me to a table and gave me spaghetti and bolognese and some nice birthday cake, like thats a crazy mind opening thing for me. The sense of community is very strong. Coming to terms with the big differences here and just taking it in as an experience overall .
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Exploring

Kuva
 The weekends during this trip are really dedicated to the balance of exploring and relaxing. Went to a work colleagues party last night and that opened me up to the idea of exploring by myself more and met people from Brazil, Colombia and Italy i think, really learning alot about myself just being in a different place. The nights are very calm and the younger people that are here as temporary residents really just want to get to know you and learn. The weathers been cloudy but theres sunshine everywhere regardless.
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The Casual Days

Kuva
 Very adjusted and relaxed here. Was sick for a couple of days so im very humbled to keep going though the experience. Having a lot of fun just going to small coffee shops or convinience stores to try something new i've never seen before and seeing how people interact. Went walking around Valletta on Friday and saw many different cool places like all the bar/dinner spots and some live music. Looking into different recording studios here if i could visit and wanna see a live band play on the street where i can get up close and really learn from them. Tested some real Italian like pizza at Eri's gourmet reestaurant and cafe which was a mind opening thing, the cheese was actually like in the commercials!
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Third Day Here

Kuva
The first two day was definetely a shock, we went around hunting busses without a phone for hours but we learned our lesson and im getting used to the differences now and starting to enjoy it for real. Check out the capital Valetta and its huge crowds of people and the main street where we had some lunch and wondered around. I love the little boutiques and shops where you can just get some coffee, groceries or whatever you need basically.
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